


their love saved them

by headedling



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, kinda angst, ptsd is implied, rating is for swearing only, toa events never happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26604436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headedling/pseuds/headedling
Summary: Nico has another nightmare, and Will comforts him.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Kudos: 31





	their love saved them

he wakes up in sweat, trying to catch his breath. it happened to him.

again.

it’s been years since those scary events, those actual nightmares he had “luck” to go through. but not only he still remembers what it felt like, his mind just keeps playing terrifying things over and over again, awake and in dreams.

Nico realizes this must be one of those nights when he won’t get any sleep. he’s just too fucking used to them at this point.

one. inhale.  
two. exhale.  
one. deep inhale.  
two. exhale.

“it’s not working”. well, then one option it is – chilly autumn night, when it is so cold your body just have to think about keeping you warm rather than obsessing over memories of adventures in Tar-

“no, – Nico thinks, – no mentions of that place”. he goes upstairs, wearing only his pajamas, trying to think of his destination’s place instead.

nothing has changed on the rooftop. a skeleton blanket Will gave him for his birthday, a bag of some illegal (on the camp’s territory, obviously) chips and an empty happy meal box. oh, and a figure of Hades Bianca got him before she died.

Nico turns away. he can’t stand another reminder of how hard his life had been. don’t get him wrong, he knows that being demigod isn’t just about having powers so cool just-people would pay to have them. it’s also about responsibility, about fighting for your safety every day of your mortal life.

he knows at what cost those two wars were won. kids have died. kids have suffered so much it left them broken. even now, just walking by them, they didn’t look like kids. most of them haven’t even turned 18 yet, but it is in their gestures, in their reflexes, in their eyes- it all shows in their eyes, really. eyes which saw some shit most ordinary human would never experience in their life (lucky for them). 

it is a luxury, actually, that he is still breathing. that he has two homes, a loving boyfriend and friends who care about him.

but he didn’t get it for free. his traumatic past made him way too mature for a teenager of his age. he lost his mother, his sister. his worries made him so scared of people he wouldn’t even try to interact with them. he thought he was a goner. he thought he didn’t matter.

those thoughts still cross his mind sometimes. but his boyfriend (and only gods know how he got that Sunshine to like him in the first place) always tells him that he’s worthy. that he’s a good person and deserves happiness just like every demigod kiddo in the camps.

Nico believes him. he really does. but it’s nights like this one he knows that his past won’t let go of him so fast. he knows he once hit a rock bottom, literally, and it still haunts him to this very day.

he wishes he could just talk it off to some sort of therapist.

it’s really cold outside. he shivers, watching over the camp and waiting for his racing heart to calm down. he knows he’s not the only one suffering from ptsd – but he’s definitely having it worse than most of his friends. or they just omit stuff like that.

a light tap on his shoulder makes him turn around immediately, half-asleep mind not able to process things. he sees the familiar face, freckles all over perfectly tanned skin and blond hair Apollo himself would be jealous of.

it’s Will. of course, he’s here. his perfect boyfriend could always sense Nico’s sufferings. how, though, is a mystery to him.

– what’s up, baby? – Will’s voice is still raspy from the sleep. fuck, Nico has completely forgotten it was night.

– nothing much, – he lies. – just wanted some fresh air.

he looks in those pretty blue eyes in front of him. he knows Will knows he lied. but the last thing he wants is for both of them to be sleep-deprived.

– what about we talk about it inside?

he just nods, feeling a warm hand taking his cold one and following it to the bedroom.

Will slightly nods in the bed’s direction – a question.

– gods, yes, i could use some cuddles.

without any words, they just lay down, Nico is in Will’s lap, with Will’s hands going through his hair. it always does wonders to Nico.

– it won’t end unless you talk about it with someone, Nico. – Will isn’t forcing him to talk, he asks him to. he gives him some space to think, to make a (probably life-changing) decision.

– bruh, we talk about it all the time.. maybe i just need some sleep?

– we have never talked about your nightmares, though. – this leaves Nico speechless. – c’mon, Nico, we’ve spent so many nights together, you really thought i wouldn’t notice it by now?

actually, yes. he thought he was pretty good at hiding it, but then again – Will’s observance when it came to Nico never failed to amaze him.

– i hate to say it, but you really need to let it all out, baby. i promise to be a good listener. it’s about your sister, right? Bianca?

– i, – fuck. Nico feels words coming to his mouth, but they can’t form into a proper sentence. it’s so miserable, really. – it’s not about her, actually, – then, quieter, almost a whisper, – it’s about Tartarus.

Will knowingly nods. truth is, they have never talked about this one. it feels so personal, even sacred. the horrors of his lonely adventure through the territory even his father, god Hades, is scared of, still haunts him. he barely found his way back home – just for him to get caught and locked in the jar.

– it must’ve been hell for you. even worse, right?

– i doubt there are words to-, – his eyes start to sting, – i dont know how to describe it. - he has been to Hell and, in fact, it wasn't that bad.

– i’m sorry, my love. your feelings are valid, Nico, no mortal has ever escaped Tartarus. you are the only one to ever do that.

– Percy and Annabeth, – Nico’s voice cracks, – they did.

– they were together, dummy. their love saved them.

that was it. Nico feels hot tears rolling down his face. Will takes his boyfriend’s face in his hands, trying to brush those tears off. but there are too many of them. tears Nico have been holding back for years have finally found their way out.

– i saw them, – he sobs so bad he doubts Will can actually understand a single word, – falling. it was supposed to be only Annabeth, – images flashing through his mind. there’s no going back, apparently. – but Percy..., – he manages to whisper it without sobs, – he chose her over his life.

Nico’s hands are gripping at Will’s shirt, looking for comfort. Blonde boy’s hands are holding him as close as they can, now gently rubbing his back. what Nico loves his boyfriend for is that he always seems to know how to sooth Nico’s nerves.

– i envied her. not only she had Percy, – he tries his best to hold his sniffles back, but he’s miserably failing– she had his love. i envied her because, - he only now realizes it. fuck, why did it never occur to him before? – i thought i would never have what she had. she had friends, Percy, even Chiron was fond of her, but all i’ve got was scared stares and whispers. no one could stand me-

– Nico, – Will interrupts, his voice, as always, full of pure admiration. Nico wants to drown in it. – you know that it isn’t true, right? i wanted to be your friend as soon as i saw you, and people, – he stops for a second, probably thinking of better words, – fuck those who thought you were a creep. they owe their lives to you, Nico.

– i did it for them, – and it’s the first time he tells anyone about it. – i went to Tartarus not only because that was supposed to save this goddamn world. i wanted them to trust me. to see a human in me. but even when i did, when they saved me, they still were suspicious of me, as if they were waiting for me to kill them or something, – he knows his thoughts weren’t rational, but he couldn’t lie to Will. the latter listened closely, now carefully holding Nico’s face in his hands, looking sad and.. fondly? like Nico’s stupid jealousy and irrational fears were something to be fond of. Nico’s face feels hot, but he can't understand, is it because of embarassment or tears still decorating his cheeks.

– i’m sorry it took them so long to understand how wonderful you are. you are the most selfless person i’ve ever met, and i’m being dead serious! – whispers Will, leaving kisses on his lover’s face between phrases.

Nico thinks it is supposed to be overwhelming, but it is just enough. the amount of attention he wants to get. this boy who’s holding him right now, whose shoulder he’s crying into. he knows him well (maybe, and that makes him smile, just as well as Bianca did) and Nico isn’t scared of sharing the darkest thoughts his mind proceeded with Will.

a simple thought crosses his mind.

– i wanted to be loved. to be understood without words, you know. to be accepted for who i am. i felt like i was just another monster to escape Tartarus, but you, Will, – and he finally finds some strength to look in his eyes, – you gave it all to me, you showed me it could be the other way around. you made me realize there was no need to distance myself from people i cared about.

it is true. even if Jason was the one to let Nico know his fears were irrational, it was Will who point blank confronted him, told him he was bullshitting himself in the first place.

– you make a god out of me, babe, – there’s a smile on his face, and Nico feels this urge to kiss it off. this feeling, urgent need in kisses, is still something new to him. – because you help me with fighting my demons just as much as i help you. i’m not your therapist, after all, i’m your, – and he, gods have mercy on Nico, is grinning, – significant annoyance.

Will starts leaning closer, until their lips brush. he hums, wordlessly asking for permission again. Nico goes for it, butterflies in his stomach moving so fast he thinks at some point they will rip his belly apart. it doesn’t bother him, though. Will smells like summer grass and early mornings’ fog, like sunflowers and countless nights they’ve spent stargazing. Nico kisses him, hoping Will will understand the simple message: “i love you, dork”. and maybe it’s just Nico’s imagination, but he can sense the reply through the kiss: “i love you too, dork”.

he doesn’t remember the moment he breaks the kiss and buries his face into the crook of the other boy’s neck, tears of relief soaking into Will’s shirt. he feels kisses on top of his head, quiet voice telling him it’s going to be fine, telling him he’s going to get there eventually. Nico wonders what is that notorious yet desirable “there” and then, just like that, he falls asleep.

he dreams of Tartarus, again. this time it’s him on Annabeth's place, seconds away from falling. he yells, asking for help, his thoughts are racing. he holds onto a small branch, hands too sweaty. and just as he thinks “this is it” – he sees a hand. he knows it too well. he has spent many, many hours watching the constellation of arm's freckles, feeling its warmth on his body, admiring its owner who he shared kisses with so sweet his heart ached.

and

with no hesitation, he grabs Will’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> aight, hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> basically, i was just procrastinating and then i realized that it would be soo interesting to see Nico telling Will about his tRIp to Tartarus. not only because its just that hard, going ALONE thru it, but also bc i think Tartarus is a metaphor for Nico’s life.
> 
> just think about it: it’s his literal rock bottom. as soon as he finally escaped it, his life started changing for the best (not Cupid outing Nico, tho. that was so sick i wanted to fly over the world to k word Rick). he finally talked to people, got friends (like actual friends not just “oh they know my name well thats enough muah”) and of course a boyfriend. 
> 
> i hope no one thought of this theory before, but i cant be so sure, and if you know someone who talked about it – pls send me their @ or link to their post.
> 
> anyway, hopes you enjoyed this fic. feel this need to mention that english isn’t my first language so if there are mistakes im really sorry about them. 
> 
> dont forget to comment something xx it does wonders for writers trust me)


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